We all compare, and with social media taking over our lives it’s becoming harder and harder to stop comparing ourselves with others. Let’s talk about comparison and why it is a confidence killer.
Lots of us struggle with comparing ourselves to other women. Whether it’s physically or financially, we’ve been doing it long before Instagram and Pinterest. Media is so focused towards women and making us wish that we looked and felt differently. And we constantly buy into it.
We see someone is skinnier than us, we want to be skinny. Someone is curvier than us, we want to be curvy. Someone has more vacations than us, we want more vacations. What we need to understand is that comparison is killing our confidence.
Look, I do it too.
I compare myself to friends of mine around my age who are much more successful than me. Then I think about my own journey and wish so many things were different. It’s like no matter how far I’ve come I’ll wish I was already an expert and because I’m not there yet I become paralyzed.
So how do we stop comparing?
Have you heard this quote by Lao Tzu?
Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
Thoughts are where it all begins. You don’t want the way you think about yourself to stop you from reaching your destiny. So let’s change the way we speak to ourselves when we see the things that trigger comparison.
Thought: “Why don’t I look like that”
Instead: Close your eyes and think of three things that you love about yourself. Three things that you believe make you who you are. Three things that you would never want to change. Repeat them to yourself until you are able to open your eyes again and not be bothered by what you are looking at. It should sound something like this “Eyes, Lips, Butt, Eyes, Lips, Butt, Eyes, Lips, Butt” (those are mine).
Thought: “Why aren’t I there yet?”
Instead: Stop what you're doing and think of how far you've come. Where were you a year ago? Look at the progress you've made in that time. Whether you're just beginning or an expert in what you do, action is the only remedy. Think of one task you can do today that will advance you towards your goal and direct your energy towards that.
Take me for example. When I told everyone that I started this blog I expected all my friends to go and read it first thing. When that didn't happen, and the numbers of viewers trickled in slowly (and some days not at all) I began to feel frustrated. I see other people launch websites and businesses and I envy their high numbers. But I have to remember that just a few months ago this website didn't even exist. So if I can do all of this in that small amount of time then think of how much I can do in double that.
Woo, I feel better already.
Oh and one more thing. If and when you are on track to reaching your goals then you gotta keep your blinders on. I’m serious. Do not let yourself get distracted. Be vigilant with your time. Uninstall your go-to, time wasting social media apps that have you drooling over other women’s wardrobes, bodies and lifestyles. Focus on yourself and don’t worry about anyone else. Period.
These tips have worked for me and I hope that they can help bring you some peace of mind as well. Try them out and see how they go. They won’t be a perfect fit the first time through, but practice makes perfect. Let’s band together and change our habits so that we stop constantly comparing ourselves with each other.