I’d like to introduce the topics of self love and self care, as they are the cornerstones of this whole site.
Some of us may not be sure what "self love" actually means but I believe that self love is the most important tool that a woman can have.
Self love is the high regard for your own wellbeing and happiness. It means wanting the best for yourself. When you engage in the practice of self love you only think good thoughts about yourself. Your vibes become contagious and great things begin to happen to you. You become committed to satisfying your needs first.
Some may confuse this with being selfish by definition but in reality, it isn't. Self care should always be your first priority.
“You can’t pour from an empty cup”
This saying couldn’t be truer and no one understands that more than I do.
I was taught to be selfless. My father always told me to put the needs of others before mine (that was his way). So I would and I would often get taken advantage of. I put myself second in an abusive relationship that took a serious toll on me.
It took a lot of self love to give me the courage to leave that relationship. Once I started to put myself back on top of my priority list I started to thrive. My life turned around.
Self love is making feeling good and your own happiness the most important things. It’s easy to mix up self love with self care because the two go hand in hand. Self care is the stage on which self love performs.
Self care is anything that makes you feel good, really. There is a misconception that self care is the same as self indulgence. First of all, a good massage, an expensive pair of boots or a slice of cake can absolutely be well deserved but the majority of self care actions do not need to cost any money at all.
Self care should be achievable anywhere at any time. Like I said, self care is literally anything that just makes you feel good: listening to music, alone time, meditation, working out, calling your bff, writing in your journal, stretching, wearing lipstick, taking a hot bath, staying off your phone and saying no to what you aren’t into. Most of those examples don’t require any money or anyone else.
As the great Audre Lorde said in her book A Burst Of Light
"caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation"
I think everyone NEEDS to have their own list of all the things that make them happy. From "ah, I feel a little better" to "WOW, I had a great day because of that thing I did".
It doesn’t matter the size or shape of self care but you should make time for it every day. If you make feeling good a priority you will notice a huge shift.
I challenge you to write a list of self care ideas. To help you out, I’ve put my list below. I guarantee that at least one item on my list can also go on yours too.